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Archive for September, 2006

Starting Poker Hands in Texas Holdem II

September 14, 2006 4 comments
A-A
Rockets, Pocket Rockets, Weapons of Mass Distruction
Bash Brothers
Bullets, Bulls
Two Pips
Teepees
Sharp Tops
Sticks
Joe Louis
American Airlines, Alan Alda, Alcoholics Anonymous
Straight A’s, Whiz Kid
Snake Eyes, Eyes, Eyes of Texas
Visine
Pair of Arses
A-K
Big Slick, Big Slick in a Suit (suited)
Big Ugly (offsuit)
Machine Gun
Anna Kournikova (looks pretty but never wins)
Santa Barbara
Mike Haven
Salt Lake Pair
A-Q
Big Chick, Big Clit
Little Slick
Ms. Slick, Mrs. Slick
Doyle Brunson (because he once said he never plays it)
Not According to Doyle
“Walking Back to Houston”
Catch of the Day
Never-Win
Aquaman
A-J
Blackjack
Slick Willie
Ajax, Foamy Cleanser
Apple Jacks
Jackass
A.J. Foyt
Anthony Jacobson
A-T
Johnny Moss
Corners, Bookends
Warthog
A-9
Mike McDermitt (hand he lost with in Rounders)
Jesus (Chris Ferguson) (offsuit)
A-8
Dead Man’s Hand (Wild Bill Hickok was shot during a poker game in Deadwood, SD, holding Aces and 8s)
Big Snowman
A-5
High Five
Outer Wheel
Little Corners
A-4
Planecrash
Pearl Harbor (1941)
A-3
Ashtray
Baskin Robbins (31 flavors)
A-2
Biggie Smalls
Hunting Season (a bullet and a duck)
Acey-Deucy, Never Loosey
Michael Jackson
K-K
Cowboys, Kowboys, Pocket Cowboys, Cowboy Wolford
Ace Magnets
King Kong
Gorillas, Gorillas in the Mist
Men
Penn and Teller
Brokeback Mountain
Kangaroos
Double Rulers
“Yee haw”
Kokomo, Krispy Kreme
Elvis Presley
6 strikes (= 2 strikeouts which are abbrev’d as K K)
K-Q
Royalty, Royal Couple
Marriage (suited), Divorce (suited)
Mixed Marriage (offsuit), An Affair (offsuit)
*The Mortensens: Carlos & Cecilia (clubs)
Lucy & Ricky
Othello (offsuit)
K-J
Kojak
Bachelor’s Hand (offsuit), The Bachelor (offsuit)
King John
“Jaggoff!”
Just Kidding
The Matador
Tucson Monster
Harry Potter (author J.K. Rowling)
People Who Need People
Bill Fillmaff
K-T
*The Neekoo (offsuit), *The Nayk (suited)
Katie
Woodcutter (offsuit)
Dominant Online Hand (never loses online)
Ditzy Pregnant Actress
Big Al
K-9
The Animal
Canine, The Unit, Canine Unit
Dogs, Pair of Dogs, The Dog
Fido
Pedigree (suited)
Mutt or Mongrel (offsuit)
“What a Dog”
“Bow wow”
Sawmill (offsuit)
K-8
Checkmate
Feast (what the king ate)
NY Heart Attack (NYC player died with this hand)
Lumber Yard
Kate
K-7
Columbia River
*Memorex, *BASF (Cassette)
*DJ Kicks (mixed album series from Studio !K7)
K-5
Nick’ King
K-4
Fork, Fork Off (offsuit), Spork (spades)
K-3
King Crab
Commander Crab, Krablar
Seafood, Seafood Hand
Alaskan Hand
Sizzler
K-2
A Steep Climb
Everest, The Mountain
Dr. Shakeoff
Fritz, Big Fritz (suited)
Q-Q
Ladies
Double date
Jailhouse Rock
Canadian Aces
Siegfried & Roy, Gay Marriage
Dames, Divas, Angels, Broads, Girls with curls
Whores, Sluts, Dykes, Pocket Bitches, Hookers
The Hilton Sisters
Snowshoes
Quails
Swinging Udders, Four Tits
Wal-Mart Shoppers
Mop Squeezers
Calamity Jane
Pair of Wire Cutters
Q-J
Maverick
Oedipus, Oedipus Rex
Fred & Ethel
Pinochle (Jack of D, Queen of S)
Q-T
Quint
Hot Babe (cutie)
Q-Tip
Varkonyi
Old Faithful
Goolsby
Q-7
Computer hand
Harvard
Q-6
Quicksand
Peanut Butter and Jelly (offsuit)
Q-5
Grannie Mae
Q-4
B-Diddy
Q-3
San Francisco Waiter (Queen w/ a tray)
San Fransisco Busboy
Gay Waiter, Posh Gay Waiter (suited)
Streetwalker
The Curse
Q-2
Queen Doobie
J-J
Jokers
Fishhooks, Hooks
Gents
“Let’s Go Twice”
Veterans, Disabled Veterans (one-eyed jacks)
Jay Birds
Johnnies
“Dyn-O-Mite!” (Jimmie “J.J. Evans Jr” Walker)
Kid Dynamite
Jetplane (Jay Jay the Jetplane)
Roll two
Too much to fit in one joint
Cipher
J-T
Drawing Hand
Cloutier (T.J.)
J-8
Jeffery Dahmer (he ate Jack)
J-7
Jack Daniels
J-6
Jeff Talley
Railroad hand
J-5
Jackson Five
Motown
Rock and Roll
J-4
Flat Tire (What’s a jack for?)
Lindsey’s Lovers
John “Austin Squatty” Jenkins
Kid Grenade
Geordie LaForge
J-2
Jew
Blind Mans Hand (offsuit)
T-T
Boxcars
Dimes
Rin Tin Tin
Tension
Double Dereks (Bo was the Perfect 10)
T-9
Countdown
Mile Higher (clubs)
T-8
Golden Dan
Kevin Hunt
Tetris
T-7
Bowling Hand
Split (7-10 split)
The Negreanu (offsuit)
T-5
Woolworth’s
Five and Dime, Five with a Dime, Dimestore
Walgreens
Barbara Hutton
T-4
Roger That
The Good Buddy
Over and Out
Broderick Crawford (from TV’s Highway Patrol)
Convoy
CB Hand
The Banker’s Work Day
T-3
Weinberg
T-2
Doyle Brunson (won the WSOP in 1976 and 1977 with those cards making a full house both times)
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